The skill that carries all the others. A student who can ask for help stays safe in situations no curriculum covers. Five skills: knowing you need it, choosing who, asking clearly, waiting, and handling an answer you did not want.
5Skills
Calm daysWhen to teach
4Worksheets
12–16Ages
Start here
PDFAll-Day PlansOne page per skill — what each of the five roles doesDownload
PDFStaff Phrase CardEvery phrase on one page. Print one per staff memberDownload
PDFSkill TrackerOne per student — five tries plus a column for doing it aloneDownload
Skill by skill
Know That Others Think Something Different
Same question, different answers, nobody wrong — the idea the whole unit rests on.
WORDSkill 1 Lesson PlanSame question, different answers, nobody wrong — the idea the whole unit rests on.Download
Guess How Someone Else Feels
Two clues: what his face shows, and what just happened to him.
WORDSkill 2 Lesson PlanTwo clues: what his face shows, and what just happened to him.Download
PDFTwo Clues ChartHow to tell what someone feels — for the wallDownload
PDFWorksheet: Face and ReasonSix situations — the feeling, and how you can tellDownload
Ask Instead of Assuming
One thing can have many reasons, and most are not about you.
WORDSkill 3 Lesson PlanOne thing can have many reasons, and most are not about you.Download
PDFIt Might Not Be About MeOne event, five possible reasons — for the wallDownload
PDFWorksheet: Three ReasonsFour events, three reasons each, one not about himDownload
Know What the Other Person Already Knows
Start at the beginning. Say who you mean before you say “he”.
WORDSkill 4 Lesson PlanStart at the beginning. Say who you mean before you say “he”.Download
Think How It Looks to Them
What you meant and how it landed are two different things.
WORDSkill 5 Lesson PlanWhat you meant and how it landed are two different things.Download
PDFWhat I Meant, How It LookedBoth sides side by side — for the wallDownload
PDFWorksheet: What I MeantFour moments, both halves filled inDownload
Read this before running the unit
Practise on ordinary days. A first attempt should not happen during a crisis.
Answer every real request properly during this unit, even inconvenient ones — the unit fails if asking does not work.
Never say “you should have asked earlier.” It teaches him not to ask next time.
If speaking is hard, showing a card counts as asking. Accept it.
Come back exactly when you said you would. Break that once and waiting collapses.
